Jerry Seinfeld's $15M Telluride Estate Is No Joke
It's gold, Jerry. Gold.
Inside Jerry Seinfeld's $15M Telluride Estate
What's the deal with house prices in Telluride, Colorado? They just keep going up. What is it, a ski lift? (Cue booing, hissing.)
And that is our pathetic impersonation of Jerry Seinfeld, the billion-dollar comedian everyone knows from "Seinfeld" and the standup stage. The comedy mogul recently placed his 27-acre, trail-laden estate in Telluride for $14.95 million — and for another $2.78 million, you can get an additional 17 acres with a smaller house.
Want to see inside the funnyman's grand escape? Check it out.
The Seinfelds Stand to Make Quite a Profit
The house is a rambling modern ranch large enough that could be cut up and divided into four separate houses. Boasting 12,260 square feet with 11 bedrooms and 11 full bathrooms, Seinfeld and his wife, Jessica, bought the 1991-built home in 2007 for $7.55 million.
The second property, which has a four-bedroom guest cottage, will be offered to the buyer of the main property, according to Rob Report. They purchased that property for $2.3 million in 2008.
If that buyer choses to go all-in on Seinfeld's Telluride properties, they would own 44 acres stuffed with snow-covered aspen trees for the cost of about $18 million.
Selling While the Market Is Hot
This wasn't the first time the Seinfelds put their main mansion up for grabs. In 2011, they listed it for $18.3 million, but then took it off the market. Perhaps they weren't willing to sell. After moving in, the Seinfelds did some major updating and renovations to the property.
But rising home prices in Telluride and throughout the area, plus the fact that their children are now older, cemented their decision to sell the home, according to The Wall Street Journal.
A Grand Great Room
The great room has an enormous flagstone, floor-to-ceiling fireplace that creates a striking focal point.
A large, wrought-iron chandelier adds even more depth to the room, while the vaulted wood ceilings create an impressive feeling of vacation home grandeur.
Floor-to-ceiling transom windows showcase the snowcapped range of Wilson's Peak.
It's Being Sold Furnished
The price tag includes almost everything in the house — although the listing does say some exclusions apply — so you're getting the real Seinfeld experience.
It's kind of like the real Kramer experience, only you're paying $15 million for a mansion in Telluride, and not being driven around on a bus while Kenny Kramer (the real Kramer the fictional Kramer was based on) gives you a "Seinfeld" reality tour of New York City.
We're not knocking Kenny's tour. He's been going strong for 24 years.
The Kitchen Is for Chefs
We're fairly certain that the kitchen was a main part of the Seinfelds' makeover. Jessica is a home chef and has released four cookbooks.
Her first book, "Deceptively Delicious," was hit by a copyright lawsuit by another cookbook author named Missy Chase Lapine. She claimed Jessica's book was a rip-off of "The Sneaky Chef." Both books dealt with healthy eating choices for kids. All claims were dismissed in court.
Jerry went on the "Late Show with David Letterman" and called Lapine a "wacko," "assassin" and "nut job," causing Lapine to sue him for defamation in a multimillion-dollar lawsuit. That was also thrown out in court.
It's Gold, Jerry! Gold!
The kitchen features an enormous kitchen island with solid wood countertops. The brickwork backsplash draws the eye forward to the farmhouse range hood. There's plenty of spaces to store your utensils, plates and kitchen knickknacks in the cream-colored cabinets.
Exposed wood beams crisscross the ceiling and even pass over the skylight smartly positioned over the island. A retro, light olive green breakfast table adds a splash of color.
Evidence of Thought
This estate has an amazing place to read, with a set of comfy arm chairs and rows of bookshelves stacked to the brim with reading material.
"A book store is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking," Jerry once quipped.
The home was "designed as an evolving series of Western ranch structures," with major parts of the home looking slightly different than the other.
It All Started With Some Jokes
Born in Brooklyn and raised on Long Island, Jerry learned at least some of the art of joke-telling from his father, a World War II veteran who served in the Pacific theater. He would write down jokes he heard and store them in a box, which he brought home.
"People would tell jokes by the score, because what else are you going to do to maintain sanity?" Jerry told The New York Times. "The recognizing of jokes as precious material: that’s where it starts. If you’ve got the gene, a joke is an amazing thing. It’s something you save in a box in a war."
But I Don't Want To Be a Pirate
As he grew older, Jerry became enraptured by comedians like Jean Shepherd, Bill Cosby and Robert Klein. While studying communications and theater at Queens College, he began to do standup at open mic nights and arranged an independent study on standup comedy, where he wrote a 40-page paper analyzing standup comedy sets.
Jerry graduated from Queens College in 1976 at the age of 22. He went on to perform at various venues, often unpaid, to hone his craft. In 1980, he landed a small but recurring role on "Benson" as an annoying mail-delivery boy.
H e was fired after just four episodes because he clashed with the show's creators over his character's direction.
Not A Place for Superman
Luckily, 1981 was a breakout year for Jerry. He appeared on the 6th Annual "Young Comedians Special" on HBO, marking his cable debut, and also landed an appearance on "The Tonight Show Show Starring Johnny Carson" on March 6, 1982.
He told The New York Times he practiced his set "200 times" beforehand, jogging around Manhattan while listening to the "Superman" theme song. You can see how nervous the 28-year-old comedian was.
Unlike Shaq's house, which has Superman logos emblazoned everywhere, the Seinfelds have opted to not make their home an ode to the DC superhero.
The Estate Is Pretty...Pretty...Pretty Good
For most successful comics, one good performance on Jonny Carson's show opened up doors to bigger and bigger gigs. That proved to be true for Jerry, who made his first one-hour special, "Stand-Up Confidential" for HBO in 1987.
The following year, he and Larry David wandered into a Korean deli and started talking about creating a sitcom. The two had met in 1976 while working the New York City comedy circuit, and David had transitioned to writing on comedy shows like "Saturday Night Live."
Seinfeld Was Almost a Flop
That led to the creation of "Seinfeld," a show about nothing and everything, which was at first ridiculed and dismissed by test audiences. Then known as "The Seinfeld Chronicles" before undergoing a title change, a test report showed that audiences found the cast unlikeable, the scenes unexciting and the show "disorienting," according to a TV Guide article.
None of the 400 test audience members wanted to see it again. It was questionable whether "Seinfeld" would even be greenlit for a full season, and some of the cast thought it had no chance of survival.
The research memo wasn't seen by David or Jerry until after the show became a hit. Then they displayed the memo in their office's bathroom.
Jerry Seinfeld's Net Worth
It's a case of not trying to please everybody. "Seinfeld" went on to become a billion-dollar TV show, netting Jerry hundreds of millions of dollars and ensuring he never had to work another day in his life to provide for his family.
By the end of "Seinfeld," he was making $1 million per episode, the first actor to ever make that salary. He was making millions more on the back end.
He's now worth about $950 million.
Anyone Can Take Reservations
Jerry met Jessica in 1998, while she was working as a PR agent for Tommy Hilfiger. She had just returned from a three-week honeymoon with Broadway scion Eric Nederlander, whom she dumped shortly upon returning to New York City and after meeting Jerry.
Jessica caught a lot of bad press for that. She was accused of being a gold digger and other things in various tabloids — but mostly remained mum. She briefly opened up in a New York Times interview to defend herself in 2007, saying that her marriage to Nederlander was "irrevocably broken" even before their wedding day.
The Seinfelds have three kids, Sascha, Julian Kal, and Shepard Kellen. They were born in the early 2000s.
This room has bubblegum pink wallpaper and a red built-in loveseat nestled by a window. A yellow-tinged carpet with floral patterns lends the room an extra layer of warmth. This was probably Sascha's room, although it could have been a guest room, too.
Eleven bedrooms are a lot.
The Garage Has a Car Wash
Outside, the sprawling ranch has a 5,500-square-foot deck, according to Robb Report. There's only enough space for four cars in the garage, but the garage also comes with a car-washing station and, of course, it's heated
Jerry is a well-known car aficionado and has a special affinity for Porsches. Of his approximately 150-car collection, about 80 are Porsches.
"I have this old '57 Porsche Speedster, and the way the door closes, I’ll just sit there and listen to the sound of the latch going, cluh-CLICK-click," he told The New York Times. "That door! I live for that door. Whatever the opposite of planned obsolescence is, that’s what I’m into."
Tom Cruise Is Your Neighbor
The mansion is located 10 minutes from the ski resort and about 20 minutes away from Tom Cruise's mansion, which the actor is selling for $39.5 million.
That's substantially more than the Seinfeld's house, but what would you expect from the ultra-successful "Mission: Impossible" star?
Telluride prices have been steadily rising, with house sales here and in the Mountain Village area reaching a record-breaking $1 billion in 2020.
Taxes Won't Be Cheap
Annual taxes for the property are $28,636. At 12,260 square feet, the price-per-square-foot on this little slice of Rocky Mountain paradise comes to $1,219.
Both Jerry and Larry David make $40 million-$50 million per year from "Seinfeld" royalties alone.
Streams and Hikes Galore
The property comes with acres of pristine rivers, trails and alpine trees. If we would hazard a guess, Jerry doesn't seem like the kind of guy to do much hiking or fishing.
That's a pastime for accomplished marine biologist George Costanza, who could wrestle a golf ball from a whale's blowhole with his bare hands.
Where to Next?
The Seinfelds own several properties, but their main residence is a huge mansion in the Hamptons in New York.
That house is absolutely huge and once belonged to Billy Joel. There might not be hiking trails, but it's certainly something to see.
The Seinfeld's House in the Hamptons
Jerry and Jessica bought this home from rock star Billy Joel for $32 million in 2000. It was known as "Versailles" then, but Seinfelds decided to tear it down and make a new house.
It's not clear how much they added to the property or what exactly they changed about it, but this house is most definitely worth more than $32 million now.
In the Lap of Luxury
The Hamptons have the most coveted properties on the East Coast, with their "Great Gatsby" appeal and enormous mansions.
This house is exceedingly large, though the square footage and number of bedrooms has been kept under wraps.
There's a baseball diamond on the estate's 12 rectangular acres, as well as a small greenhouse, guesthouse, barn, pool and a 22-car garage.
But why did Jerry and Jessica want such an enormous property?
"For a long time, I didn't want to have a Porsche," Jerry told Vogue. "In the eighties, in L.A., a Porsche had become a piece of obnoxious male jewelry."
But then he started thinking differently.
"Why should I deny myself the best because of the image it has? I like Ralph Lauren polo shirts. ... I like it here. I like the way the air smells. I like the town. I don't care what people think."
Jerry at Home
"This man yells instead of talks. He cannot talk in a normal voice," Jessica wrote on her Instagram. "He cannot perform on stage anymore so he just YELLS YELLS YELLS. ALL. DAY."
At the time, Jerry couldn't perform — it was during the pandemic — but he has been touring the world ever since "Seinfeld" ended in 1998.
The kitchen features counter space for days and loads of cabinets, along with some open shelving.
No Soup for You?
Many of Jessica's Instagram videos showcase her healthy cooking. Like their Telluride house, their kitchen is spacious and includes a large stainless steel stove with a huge range hood large enough to suck up even the smokiest of dishes.
Tucked away somewhere in that kitchen is a $17,000 Elektra Belle Epoque espresso machine. Which is fitting for someone who loves coffee so much that he made an entire show out of it
But unfortunately for "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee" fans, he seems to be done with the show.
A Furry Family
In addition to their three kids, the Seinfelds have two cats and two dachshunds. This little guy is splayed on their black marble-topped kitchen island.
The mostly white kitchen is given some wow factor by the simple midnight black backsplash.
Living the Dream
Jerry and Jessica have been married for over 20 years. Jerry will continue touring until he doesn't feel like it (our guess, not official).
While he hinted in 2014 at a "big, huge, gigantic" new project with Larry David, possibly a Broadway play, nothing has yet come of that vague promise.
Here's hoping he teams up with David again, soon.