How to Accept Critical Feedback Without Getting Defensive

Hearing critical feedback about yourself can be difficult. After all, who likes to hear a list of negative things about themselves, especially when the points are true?   

Nevertheless, it’s important to be able to hear and take critical feedback without getting defensive. People who can take constructive criticism are able to make positive changes. That means they can start performing at a higher level.

If you tend to get defensive when receiving feedback, you probably won’t grow in the same way as those who can hear critical feedback objectively. It’s a skill you can work on.

Here’s how you can take critical feedback without getting defensive.

The most important thing you can do when you’re receiving criticism is to listen actively. This means that you’re really listening, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.  Give the conversation your full attention,  concentrate, respond and make sure you can remember the main points.

How To:

You want to shut off the part of your brain that starts formulating answers and responses to what’s being said. Your defense is besides the point. There might be extenuating circumstances, but they don’t matter for the purpose of this conversation.

What does matter is that you listen actively to what the person is saying and process it without making a debate out of the matter.

This might feel unnatural, but it’s one of the most important things you can do when it comes to receiving constructive criticism.

It’s hard enough to receive constructive criticism — it’s a whole other level to start asking questions about it so that you can glean more information about where you have room for improvement.

When you start asking questions, have an eye toward understanding the criticism. The point to your questions is not to find the flaw in the criticism, but to fully digest it.

Keep in Mind:

Remember that the person is giving you feedback to help you grow and improve your performance.

People tend to be their own worst critics. You’re too critical where you shouldn’t be and you have blind spots to areas where you need criticism the most.

Critical feedback from others is important because it’s more objective than what you’re going to give yourself.

Point of View:

Don’t see constructive criticism as a reason to be upset. Rather, see it as an opportunity to improve your performance and become a more productive employee.

Criticism is only as good as what you can remember and respond to. Take notes while you receive critical feedback so that you can refer back to it later.

Especially when we hear things that make us uncomfortable, it can be easy to block it out. When you write things down, the information also is easier to remember even without referring back to the notes.

Extra Credit:

And, of course, you can always make your own notes alongside what you’re being told, devising ways to improve in the areas discussed.