15 Ways to Keep Your Sanity When Your Workplace Turns Toxic

Toxic workplaces are becoming more common. Here's how to cope.

15 Ways to Keep Your Sanity When Your Workplace Turns Toxic

Every employee wants to work in an office where their colleagues and boss greet them with a smile each morning, where everyone is eager to do their best work. However, it’s becoming more likely that your office will be filled with unnecessary drama and your coworkers will spend more time fighting amongst themselves than collaborating on an important project.

Toxic workplaces are becoming more common. According to a 2018 study by Warble, 63 percent of respondents witnessed behavior at work that was disruptive to culture, productivity, and/or the business but didn’t report it to management or HR. Why? Because 46 percent of those respondents believed no action would be taken.

“One of the best ways to fight against a toxic workplace culture is to keep yourself out of the fray otherwise your brain will get hijacked by the negativity,” said Tracey Adams, PhD, CEO, and co-founder of ThriveOn Seminars in Portland, Oregon.

Here are 15 ways your workplace may turn sour and how to keep your sanity if that happens.

1) Your Coworkers Blame Each Other

When the workload is heavy and deadlines are tight, it’s not unusual for coworkers to start pointing the finger at each other when something goes wrong.

One of the best ways to keep your sanity is to seek office friendships outside your work group so you’ll have a buddy who can offer a different perspective when things get stressful, Adams recommends.

2) Happy Hour Becomes an Excuse to Criticize Management

While it’s natural to grumble about the boss and seek solace with your coworkers after a tough day at work, you need to be careful that your social time with colleagues doesn’t become a litany of complaints.

Rather than becoming the victim, Adams recommends being a leader by resisting the urge to complain. If you’re out with coworkers and the mood turns dark, consider leaving rather than staying and feeding into the negative mood.

3) Your Manager Isn’t Open to Other People’s Ideas

Some managers need to be in charge of every project and don’t want to hear other employee’s suggestions. They may see someone else with a good idea as a threat to their authority.

One way to handle a tyrant manager is make him or her feel like your suggestion was their idea by giving them partial credit for it.

4) No One Is Happy to Be at Work

It’s difficult to come to work every day when your coworkers are constantly arguing about assignments, responsibilities, and deadlines.

One way to remain positive is to find ways to connect to people outside of your office. Schedule lunch or coffee with a friend who works nearby or take a walk during lunch, even if it’s just a quick walk around the block.

5) Criticism Is Never Constructive

In a tense workplace where everyone is quick to blame their colleague for a missed deadline, there’s often little to no feedback, and when you do get feedback it’s typically negative and may feel personal.

Although it might be difficult, do your best to listen carefully, to ask your boss specific questions about better ways to handle the situation or avoid a similar incident in the future, and offer to resolve the problem. Don’t go on the defensive and try to blame a coworker or prove that your boss is wrong.

6) Your Coworkers Are Really Annoying

Every workplace has annoying coworkers. But, in workplaces with a lot of drama and infighting, your colleagues’ annoying habits are magnified.

In a recent study by Olivet Nazarene University, 73 percent of respondents said two to five coworkers’ behaviors are grating on a regular basis. Their most common grievances were loudness and complaining (49 percent), followed by gossip and bullying (32 percent).

Rather than asking your coworkers to lower their voices, consider bringing in noise-cancelling headphones to drown out their loud conversations.

7) There’s Too Much Gossip

Office gossip is a huge distraction, and in a toxic workplace it can sow seeds of resentment and mistrust.

If you hear gossip about a coworker, you can diffuse the situation by dismissing the gossip and changing the subject, or questioning the gossip by saying the story doesn’t ring true.

8) Your Boss Is a Bully

Being told you’re lucky to have a job, or being threatened with a demotion if you won’t work late on a Friday night, are definitely signs that your workplace has gone sour. However, in most cases, these are often just empty threats.

Set boundaries with your boss by explaining that you have a conflict that prevents you from work late Friday nights but also state what you are willing to do, such as work through lunch or come in a half hour early on Monday.

9) Cliques Rule the Office

Without a strong manager to keep employees engaged and happy, it’s not unusual for cliques to form and for employees to bully each other.

According to a CareerBuilder survey, 43 percent of workers said cliques are common in their office. Many also admitted to watching a certain TV show or movie (21 percent), or making fun of a coworker (21 percent) so they would fit in. Rather than be a lemming, stay true to your own values.

10) Everyone Focuses on the Negative

When deadlines are missed and clients are unhappy, it’s hard to stay positive.

“Gratitude is not a feeling, it’s a practice,” Adams said. “If you practice gratitude as a verb, and not a feeling, then you are training your mind to see the positive.”

11) Meetings Are a Waste of Time

It’s not uncommon for toxic workplaces to have back-to-back meetings that lack focus and purpose.

Keep your meetings short to prevent them from dissolving into chaos and blame. Consider replacing your department’s two-hour meeting with a 15-minute standing meeting where people quickly share what they are working on and what they need help with, and then get back to work.

12) Meetings Are Repetitious

When work is stressful, it’s not unusual to have meetings where staff goes over the same topics again and again, especially if there is no decision or path forward at the end of the meeting.

After each meeting, follow up with an email to your boss and coworkers about what was decided, what the action items are, who is responsible for each, and what issues were unresolved and need to be discussed at the next meeting.

13) Nobody Shares Information

In a toxic environment, information can be seen as power and often colleagues are reluctant to share what they know because they feel it gives them a competitive edge.

Lead by example and freely share any information that will benefit the group. Try to gain your coworkers’ trust so they will share information with you.

14) There’s No Career Path

When the work culture is toxic, often there is no clear path to promotion. It’s not unusual for annual reviews to be delayed by weeks or even months, and when your boss does get around to doing your a performance review, it’s often a cursory write up and a quick meeting.

If that happens, take the time to write up your own performance review outlining in detail what you have accomplished, what hurdles you’ve overcome, and how your boss can help you do your job better.

15) There’s a Lot of Turnover

Challenging workplaces have a hard time keeping good employees engaged and on the payroll. Constant staff changes can make it impossible to finish projects on time or keep clients happy.

In a high-turnover office, it’s not unusual for each employee to being expected to pick up extra work while management tries to hire someone new. A high turnover rate may be a sign you should be looking for a new job, too.